home/masks

home

insecurites surface
when your home is not secure
more than a room,
more than a place,
home is inside you.
wherever you are.
you are home
This is true
only because You are my home.
You go with me
you follow me behind
you lead the way forward
wherever I am,
I am home.
home is safe
home is You.


masks.

take off your mask.
I can see past your shield
your fortress.
I can smell your insecurity
I can taste your nervousness
I can feel your heart trembling beneath your chest
be FREE. Free to be you. Just you.
All I want is you.
Purely, wholly, you.
fear ties you down,
pride binds you up
break the chains
run, run, run!
don't look back
just look at Me.
let those layers shed
let those walls break down.
sing, scream, cry!
You have my attention.
I hear you.
Now be you.
don't be her.
don't be him.
be YOU.

Perfect love casts out all fear!

So..I have had this huge fear of singing since I was little, always afraid to hear my own voice. But Phoebe my room mate prayed for me and today I sang LOUDLY AND PROUDLY for the first time.I couldn't help but sing. The room felt like it was getting so big and I had to sing loudly just so God could hear me. In that moment my voice opened up and I got over this wall I built up. So we wanted to share this video with you, to show you that God's perfect love casts out all fear. It's not about how good or..bad..we sound, its about not being afraid to worship Him.

Grace and Truth= Love

"Strong arguments and relevant points are only as powerful as the love of the person offering them. It is love that must act as the motivation of your life if you are to accomplish anything great. It is love that opens the ears of the deaf and softens the hearts of the proud. It is love that breaks through the political and ideological recesses of the "intellect's brain" in ways that verbal arguments never could."

Got this from a note Sarah Stoker wrote.
It is so true.

Pouring out...being filled

Have you ever had a busy week and then tried to sit down to recollect your thoughts? This is where I am...on the curb re-collecting. I guess that's what they mean when they say recollect your thoughts.

All I really want to think about is how I don't want to lose sight of Jesus as I walk through this life. I want to constantly stand still and remember what I truly believe is true. It is so easy to pick up LIES that are floating around the air, waiting to be breathed in by wanderers. Yet, I am no longer a wanderer walking aimlessly in this life.

My purpose is simple. To point other's to You. The one full of love and understanding. Most of the time, You are just foolishness to the human eye. Including mine at times. Forgive me.

I walk, to follow you.
I breathe, to take you in.
I love, to live in You.

Pursuing you with Abandon

My life, poured out for the kingdom of God, is beautiful,
even though others may see it as a waste.

Love does not just happen...

Recently, I wrote a post titled "Love is overrated because it is underrated".
A friend commented on my statement:"love is not created. It just is."

He responded:

If you are talking about our love, then I would say it is dangerous to say that Love just is. True love, agape love, is not something that just is or just happens. Love is not a feeling, it is not simply a yearning. Love is a commitment, something you decide to do. Love is desiring God's most blessed life for the other person, even if that means it is a life without you.

His last line humbled me so much..."Love is desiring God's most blessed life for the other person, even if that means it is a life without you". I have refused to love in this way in the past because I am selfish. I am still getting God's love confused with the way people love. Our love is just a feeling, merely a yearning. Today, God reminded me that sometimes, loving someone means I can't be in their life.



Healing does not come easily. It comes when we stop picking at the wound. Patience.



Thank you Doug for the insight. This has been a breakthrough. :)






It is easier to mend a broken heart when we are not constantly faced with that person. Each time we meet, it feels as if we are picking at old wounds. As hard as it is to walk away, I want to and I need to..because love is a commitment and it is a decision. I have decided to begin loving you rightly. That means I will guard my heart, as well as yours... Lord help me to be faithful to You in learning how to love.

Not ready to go home...

I was driving on my beloved Pathfinder Road a little past midnight. There were no cars...just Jesus and I on the road home. The moon was shining, the city lights were glimmering and all I could think about was You. In the end, I am alone on the road with You always. You are always with me. No matter how displaced I feel. I am always a perfect fit with You. Even when I have no hand to hold, or person to hug, I am at home with You. I wasn't ready to go home tonight. I kept driving pass my house and up the hill. I kept going as high as possible. My one destination was up up up towards heaven. But I just hit a dead end. The drive down was beautiful, you said I can't just stay on a hill forever, away from the world. You didn't give me life so that I could run away. Running away would be a lie. So I drove down the hill and I felt more at home than ever.

Now I am sitting in my room listening to Jon Foreman. There is no place I would rather be. No one can take me away from You.

No one. Not even me.

Home at last.

Heartbreak is under rated, because it's over rated.

Have you ever wanted to be with someone who you knew wasn't right for you?
Well...I have. These are the words God spoke to me. And these are also the words He wants to speak to you and everyone who understands the struggle.

I know how much your heart hurts. I hear your cries. Daughter, I KNOW you just want to stay wrapped up in his arms. Son, I know you just want to hold her tight and smell her hair and see her smile. I know. I know how much it hurts to say goodbye over and over again. I know how much you just want to turn around and jump into your loves arms. I know you are always just one second away from blurting out all your feelings for that person. Trust me, I know because I made you. I gave you the ability to love, but with love comes pain and sacrifice. It means waiting. Waiting for me to give you my blessing. Waiting for the relationship you don't have to hide from people.

Stop fighting me. Stop focusing on what YOU want at this very moment. Think beyond what you can see. Think past what you feel right now. Fight the war in your heart. Fight it. Wrestle with your flesh and your Spirit. Do not give in so easily. Do not turn back. Do not call him or her and try to make something happen. Do not try to create love. Love is not created. It just is. Love is patient. Love BEARS ALL THINGS. If you really love me, then let me love you. Let my love be enough. Don't fight me any more. Let me fight FOR you. Let me fight the battle in your heart. Because you will never win without me. You will fall time after time if you continue to refuse my help.

I know it's hard. The cross was hard. Dieing is hard. Dieing to yourself is the hardest. But I did it, so that you could live. SO LIVE. LIVE LIFE ABUNDANTLY!
And don't worry, I will never stop loving you, no matter what stage in life you are in. Whether you are failing or flying. I love you. Even when you are busy ignoring me and turning your head away, I am still here...loving you. I love you even when all I can see is the back of your head, because you refuse to turn to me. I still love you. But I love you too much to let you stay where you are. Turn to me. Only I can give you what you desire most. LOVE.




Everyone will have to walk away from something or someone they really "want" in order to meet God, the One we NEED. Keeping walking.


Friends, listen to By Your Side, by Tenth Avenue North.

Info on my Art Gallery Receptipn at the TSU

A Glimpse of His Heart
Friday, February 27, 2009
8:00 P.M
Underground, Titan Student Union at CSUF
Fireside Lounge, Plaza Gallery

Save the date...:)

Following your advice even when I don't get it.

Have you ever gotten the feeling that what seems like the "right" thing to do..isn't actually the right thing for you? I think that is the tricky thing about life. What steals us away from the BEST decisions are the "good" decisions. We settle for what seems right because we like to play it safe and think that we know what we are doing. But in reality..God is so much bigger than the rules we have made. These man made rules are what we rely on to steer us in the right direction.

But...have we ever stopped to ask ourselves..who is truly our compass and our guide in life? Our rules?? Or our God?

I remember reading the verse: "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin." James 4:17

It all just comes down to whether or not something is going to pull you closer to the Light or further...comprendo?


My prayer: God help me to trust you, even when I don't understand why you say no to the things I think are right..help me to trust that you know me better than I know myself. Help me to trust that you are looking out for me. You are guarding my heart. Thank you.

Family=LOVE

I have been spending a lot of time with my cousin and my family these past two weeks. As I am getting older, I realize how priceless each of my family members are. I love them so much and my heart breaks for them when they are sad and it rejoices with them when they are glad. I had dinner with my cousin, my brother, and his girlfriend tonight. I had such a great time with them! Then I remembered that they will be busy with work starting this coming week. I probably will only see my brother once a month. I will see my cousin in June hopefully.

All these thoughts of how much I will miss them really got me thinking. Love really is patient. It is long suffering. Love is not butterflies and rainbows. Love hurts, but it is worth the pain because in the end love is the most important thing in the world.


"There is no room for fear in love..."


On a different note,

I love these questions I read in a magazine.
1. How would your mother describe you in one word?
playful
2. What is the most insane question you've ever been asked?
Are you mexican?
3. What word in the English language do you wish you had invented?
fantastic!
4. What do you miss about your childhood?
Walking home alone from elementary school. Things were so easy back then. My street always looked so beautiful as I walked closer and closer to my home.
5. What animal best describes the kind of guy you'd be interested in?
A golden retriever: faithful and protective, but friendly..
6. If you could change your name, what would it be?
Anabelle Yu
7. What is the main fault in your character?
I am naive at times.
8. What in the world do you least desire?
Fame, money, and a hot husband.
I am serious.
Dead serious.
9. Finish this sentence: "Love is a thing called..."
sacrifice.


That was fun :)

your turn!!

The first post of 2009

Here are some fun photos from my film camera from this weekend. :)







On a different note...


A few months ago I saw an ad on our campus website.
It read: Student artists interested in displaying artwork at the Titan Student Union sign up here.

I ignored the ad the first couple of times I saw it.
Finally, one day, I was feeling confident and I filled one out, praying that my artwork would find a home.

A week later, I got a call from a girl named Ashley and she wanted me to come into her office for an interview. I showed her my website with all my recent photos. She nodded and asked what the concept of my art gallery would be. Honestly, I had no clue.

But...somehow I started talking about justice and about the kids I worked with this summer in South L.A. Everything started making sense as I explained to her that I wanted my photos to depict the need for justice to be brought around the world and at home in our own neighborhoods. She sounded interested and told me she would call me.

A week later, I get a voicemail from Ashley. She told me all the spaces were full for the coming semester a.k.a STEPH YU GOT REJECTED.

I pouted. I frowned. I doubted myself and my art.
Then I pouted some more.
Then I got over it.

THEN....a week ago...I get a call from Ashley. She asks, "we have a spot open, are you still interested?". HECK TO THE YES I AM! :)

I have 8 photos in mind. Each picture marks a significant moment in my journey with God these past two years. There are pictures from the streets of L.A to an orphanage in Mexico.

As I lay in bed the night before my meeting with Ashley, I start envisioning the photos and words start coming to my mind.

"On the surface, all we see is a city of corpses. Homeless men and women who roam the streets, longing for a true home, yet never finding one warm enough for the bodies or their souls.

Take a closer look. An abandoned shoe is more than what it seems. It is a pair of feet which now walk barefoot, with its flesh against the man made concrete.

Look into the eyes of the child who walks this same path of injustice. He smiles only because he does not know that things could and should be better. He will find out, just like we all found out.

We are stuck in a cycle of injustice. It will only end when we reach our hands towards Heaven. Only then will we have hands of compassion and love which can truly change lives with just a touch."

This has become my Artist Statement.


After I write my last word, I breathe a breath of joy. My vision, my photography, my passion for Him is finally beginning to come together. What I realize now is that all the credit goes to Jesus. My sole purpose on this earth is to point others to God, using my words, actions, and most of all my love.

I am so excited to display these photos. Not because I am showing off my talent, but because these photos will be used to open peoples eyes and hearts to something greater than ourselves.

John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease.


So come to CalState Fullerton's Titan Student Union anytime between Jan 20th to March 13th to see my gallery. I will also be having a reception on Friday, February 13th at 7:00 P.M.