Phoebe

Last night I dreamt that I dove into the ocean to save a guy who jumped in. I couldn't find him because the water was so murky. I felt so little compared to the big ocean as I was searching for him.

A few nights before I dreamt that there was someone trying to break into my house. I tried to lock all the doors but every time I locked one, I would find more doors open. it was like a domino effect.

Anyways..I don't know if these dreams are important, but they sure did make me feel anxious and fearful. Not the best way to wake up.

Pray for me sis :)

Being home alone at night always brings about the best poetry

I have been writing a lot during this break from school.
I think it's because I am not busy 24/7
running from class to class
I actually have time to think
To pray
To really look in the mirror
and see how my soul is doing.
When we are still enough to hear our thoughts
we realize that we are human
we are not invincible
we are not immortal
we are flesh and blood
we are all alike
because we all need to be loved
to be known
and to be heard.


What would you do if you were stuck in a room
with white walls
sound proof
and no windows or doors
what if no one could hear you
or see you
what if no one knew you were alive
does that mean that you are dead?

What does it mean to live
if you are not known
loved
or heard?

A life without You
is a life lived in a room
with white walls
sound proof
and no window to let the light in.

Trapped
suffocated
mute
blind
You scream so loud,
yet no one can hear
so you might as well scream silently

These thoughts are so dark
it scares me
but you can not know light
unless you know darkness

____________________________

Jesus, you make a poet out of me.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Anxiety

"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad."--Proverbs 12:25

Just when the world is caving in, you SPEAK!

Rejoice always
Pray without ceasing
Give thanks in all circumstances
For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you

Do not quench the Spirit
Do not despise prophecies
But test everything,
Hold fast what is good,
Abstain from every form of evil

Now may the God of peace himself
sanctify you completely
And may your whole spirit and soul and body
be kept blameless at the coming
of our Lord Jesus Christ.

He who calls you is FAITHFUL
He will surely do it.
1 Thes 5:16-24

Psalm 10:16-18

"The LORD is king forever and ever
the nations perish from his land.
O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted;
you will strengthen their heart;
you will incline your ear
to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed,
so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more."

It won't always be this ugly. This world won't always be a home for human sex trafficking. This world won't always have daughters and sons looking for a man to call "father". Earth will not always be sick from sin, trying to breath in pure oxygen, but only catching fumes, chemicals, and smog. One day Justice will arrive, Light will shine, and we will be fully redeemed. Until then, walk in the Light and hold tightly to Faith and speak with Love.









"O Lord, make me know my end
and what is th emeasure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothign before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!
...And now, O Lord,
for what do I wait?
My hope is in you."
-Psalm 39:4-7

6 Days

6 Days of waking up to a nightmare
6 straight days of waking up to thoughts driven by fear.
I feel him tapping on my shoulder
Trying so hard to throw me into the deep end
he has no real power over me
Jesus has overcome him
He is greater than the one who is in the world.

Revive Her/Almost Lonely

Revive Her
Jesus, I need you.
I need you to revive her
revive her heart
revive her fully
Wipe away her tears
Give her faith
to believe you are real
Give me faith to believe
faith
Faith
faith is all I ask for.
without it
the world stops spinning for me
I stop breathing
the world stops making sense

Almost Lonely
Jesus,fill this cup of loneliness
take my hand and clasp it tight
Spirit hover over me as you did the sea
in the beginning
revive me Holy Spirit.

Twilight/love/fiction

Fiction
Fiction.
Characters and roles
Perfect lines and scenarios

Pure fiction.
Their eyes full of passion
evoke a tension within my soul

I am tempted to embrace
in a season of refraining

I am tempted to take this life
and be the director
to choose my own characters
Recite my own fictitious lines
create a false reality
of passion driven by insecurity

I fall asleep and say
goodbye to fiction
goodbye to false perception

I awake and say
hello to reality
hello to true love
with its pain and sacrifice

I say hello,
hello to You.


Savior
We are all looking for
A savior
to protect us
to guard us
to save us from evil
to love us with an overwhelming love
that envelops and captivates us to our fullest capacity
to love us at the core of who we are
to the deepest of deeps
A savior to see us in our brokenness
to see our ugliness
yet, still choose to stay by our side
A savior who never gives up on us

so we look to that One person in our life,
our mother
father
brother
lover
friend
yet, in the end
who will love us
when we can not love them back?

Religion that Kills
Religion
you are full of noisy worship
so loud, yet so empty
you are a hallow body
an outer shell with no soul inside
you are fake beyond words
and you don't even know it
you hate and point fingers at the
homosexuals and sinners
yet your own heart is perverted
your soul is dark
full of bitterness and blame
religion, I hate you
religion you have killed so many souls
you have emptied so many lives
you have taken what is beautiful
and colored it with hypocrisy and blood
I hate you false religion.
I hate you.
I hate you because I fight you daily
because it is so easy to settle for you
I hate you because you blind me from God
the real God.
the living God.
I hate you because I am scared
scared to be like you.

LIVING DEEP IN A SHALLOW WORLD

I have so much to say, yet the words are not coming out right.


I had to delete a paragraph I wrote because my heart did not feel right with it.

Let's try this again.



All I want is to know the real Jesus.
All I want is to live a life fearless of other people's opinion of me.
All I want is to be real, even if it offends people
All I want is to discover true and undefiled religion.
All I want is to know people for who they are, rather than who they pretend to be

Can I have that?
Can we give each other some realness?
Can we live a life without fear?


I don't want restrictions or rules.
I just want freedom.
Freedom to know God and to love God.
Freedom to say that He is all I need.
Freedom to not feel crazy for feeling these things.
I need a paradigm shift
I am still seeing faith and God through the lens of this shallow world.


I WANT TO LIVE DEEP IN A SHALLOW WORLD.