off beat

I don't always get it right.
But you always take me on an adventure, anyways.


Grace.

Feeling Poetic

Feeling poetic
From verse to verse
More
There is more to me
Than your eye can see
I love his voice
from verse to verse
his poetry
contains
more, more than my eye can see
I wonder
God
how can a girl like me
breathe simultaniously to the words
of a man like him
Kerouac
On the road
his road
my road
the gift is this
two souls connecting
in some small way
it makes the world stop
for one second
and we are not alone

10 Things I didn't expect to happen during college

1. Break up with Jared.
2. Get back with Jared. lol
3. Go to Turkey
4. Live in the inner-city for 6 weeks
5. Gain 10 pounds.
6. Become friends with people "different" than me
7. Sing karoke...multiple times...SING in general.
8. deal with my issues...deep deep seeded issues.
9. move out
10. move back home after grad. haha

Lot's of back and forth things. But it's never the same the second time around. Whether it's dating someone or moving back home.

On a different note, sorta. I woke up to rain falling. It was beautiful..until I remembered that I bike to school. Hope that goes well...anyways, spent this morning revising my roommates essay about her past, present and future. It was such a beautiful essay with imageries of being a butterfly. It inspired me to write some more and to read my past journal entries.

After reading past entries, all Ican say is dang... I am deep...and at times "emo" and other times "quirky" and other other times.. "depressing". But I guess that's just how I was made...to go deep when it comes to thoughts and life. I hope people can keep up with me, but if not, that's okay too. I am content with who I am.

I want to hear some of your top 10 unexpected things to happen in college!!

p.s everyone needs to check out Kings of Leon. Very soulful voice that sings about his life as a rockstar who is also a Pastor's kid. Check out Cold Desert. I think we can all relate to it at times.

Growing Up

I am graduating in May of next year, so you can probably guess what question has been running through my mind lately.

What will I do post grad???

Well...this question has led me to a deeper question..as always.

What do I want to achieve in order to die knowing that I led a fulfilling life?

I am not going to attempt to answer this question today or even tomorrow or even 10 years from now. But I do want to begin discovering what the answer could be.

We had a working photographer come visit our Studio Photo class last night. He showed us his work from the past ten years. All the students, including me, just sat back and judged his photography based on what we believe is successful. We all had our opinions, some nice, and some not so nice. All this to say that it really doesn't matter what we think about each other. Our worth as photographers and HUMAN BEINGS is not defined by other people's judgements. We can't live our lives trying to prove to others that our life's work was "worth it". We will die before we feel fulfilled. I was reminded of a quote by Judy Garland, "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”

As cheesy as it is, it's true. I want to figure out what my life as STEPHANIE YU is supposed to look like, not what he thinks, or she thinks, or what they think I should look like to be "successful".

So here goes the journey. I am officially 21 and still growing!