How can I cry out to You God if I don't even know my own voice?

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I hear a million a day.
Don't get me wrong,
I love hearing your thoughts
his thoughts
and her thoughts
Consequently, I adopt your thoughts,
and make them my own,
forever silencing my thoughts.
I never think they are right enough,
good enough,
or just plain ENOUGH
I have trained myself to believe this.
The truth is, even if I am wrong
I still need to speak
in order to make known the condition of my heart
I am always ignoring the rhythm and beat of my thoughts.
Am I a robot, living in a paralyzed world?
Hearts are hard as stone because no one is strong enough to feel
I need to hear my voice, I need to know my voice
so I can cry out to you exactly where I am at.
Whether it is out of pain and desperation
or joy and healing.
These days they are all mixed together anyways.
So here I am.
Broken, yet complete
hurt, yet healed.
naked, yet covered
flying on wings of eagles
because strength always rises
when I wait on You, my King.
I am redeemed,
I am being redeemed,
and I will be redeemed.
God knows no boundaries.




Only the Lord searches us and knows us fully, completely, perfectly.

When we cry, He hears,

All we can do on this earth is cry out for help to our Father above.

Fever

I have a fever. I am hot/cold at the same time.
But this day in bed has given me the chance to Sabbath.
It's so sad that my body has to die before I am willing to rest.
I want to be superwoman and save the world.
But God just wants me to rest when I need to.
Resting is a foreign idea to me.
I don't want it to be so foreign any more.

• Exodus 34:21 NIV

  "Six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest; even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest.

• Psalms 55:6 NIV

  I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest--

• Psalms 62:1 NIV

  [For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.] My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.

• Psalms 62:5 NIV

  Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

• Psalms 91:1 NIV

  He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

Don't drink, don't cuss, don't have sex...wait...but WHY NOT???!

I need to reevaluate the reasons why I choose not to drink, smoke, have sex, and cuss. Is it because I want to be as pure and good as possible? If that is the only reason then I am living an empty life. My motive to seek after a pure life should be because I want to be able to love others better. My sin hurts others, just as other peoples sin hurt me, whether directly or indirectly. Think of one sin that doesn't hurt your relationship with God or with others. I can't think of one. Purity comes down to relationships. I should not strive after a righteous life for any other reason except to love others well.

I have had a judgemental spirit ever since I became a Christian. This is exactly the opposite of what God wants. He is showing me that as a follower of Jesus I should be a person with so much mercy and grace that it is overflowing out of my ears and nostrils!! I have been so blind to my own sin. So focused on what I shouldn't do, that I have overlooked opportunities to love others.

Please pray for me. That my critical spirit would be broken. That I would be full of TRUE grace. Grace that helps me to see others behind God's eyes, not my own. Have patience with me friends. I am learning and growing too. Forgive me for all the times I have hurt you.


True holiness is being set apart for God so that we can love others well.
Not just to be set apart so we can be "better" than everyone else.


Give me grace like rain.

take this heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh

Been a while since I posted anything.
A lot has occurred and I am changing little by little.
I am being stretched this season.
Everything I once believed was true..is simply not.
I use to believe that I was forever connected to my past mistakes
I believed that Faith only concerns Jesus and I
I believed that homeless people are "less fortunate" than I am.
-I have met people with nothing, yet having everything.
I have met people whose homes are the streets


I have been crying a lot lately.
Any form of brokenness brings me to tears.
I was driving to church today and
I saw a man and woman holding a sign asking for any kind of help.
I had a few apples and oranges in my trunk.
I offered them what I had.
This man was so grateful as he held the fruit in his hands.
He made sure to let me know exactly how many he took.
He was the most honest man I've seen who happened to be in a desperate situation.
His humility and thankfulness brought me to tears.
This man is my teacher.
He is my sermon.
He is my pastor.
He is Jesus on the side of the road...waiting to see if anyone notices Him.
I tried to offer him the rest of the food I had, but he humbly said "no thank you and God bless you".
A man who has less in this world
actually has more faith in his heart.
He understands a side of Jesus I have yet to seen.
He understands Grace and humility.
Will I ever be as lucky as him?
Will I ever taste the real side of Jesus?
Or will I forever be a student to the men and women on the road side who continue to call on Jesus no matter how hopeless life seems...?
I want to learn what it means to need Jesus desperately.
I want to know Jesus intimately.
Will you show me more of who You are?
I know it will take many tears to understand how much we are loved by You.
You are an invisible and ignored Being who loves Your creation more than it loves You.
Forgive me.
Thank you.

watch

Watch your thoughts ; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

the more i seek you

CAPO - 2ND FRET (For Beginner Guitarist)

Verse:
D                A
    The more I seek You
Bm               G
    The more I find You
D                A
    The more I find You
Bm               G
    The more I love You

Chorus:
D                    A
I wanna sit at Your feet
                          Bm
Drink for the cup in Your hand
         A                 G
Lay back against You and breathe
              D  A
And feel Your heartbeat
D                A
This love is so deep
                     Bm
It's more than I can stand
              G
I melt in Your peace
        D    A   D
It's overwhelming