Have you ever wanted to be with someone who you knew wasn't right for you?
Well...I have. These are the words God spoke to me. And these are also the words He wants to speak to you and everyone who understands the struggle.
I know how much your heart hurts. I hear your cries. Daughter, I KNOW you just want to stay wrapped up in his arms. Son, I know you just want to hold her tight and smell her hair and see her smile. I know. I know how much it hurts to say goodbye over and over again. I know how much you just want to turn around and jump into your loves arms. I know you are always just one second away from blurting out all your feelings for that person. Trust me, I know because I made you. I gave you the ability to love, but with love comes pain and sacrifice. It means waiting. Waiting for me to give you my blessing. Waiting for the relationship you don't have to hide from people.
Stop fighting me. Stop focusing on what YOU want at this very moment. Think beyond what you can see. Think past what you feel right now. Fight the war in your heart. Fight it. Wrestle with your flesh and your Spirit. Do not give in so easily. Do not turn back. Do not call him or her and try to make something happen. Do not try to create love. Love is not created. It just is. Love is patient. Love BEARS ALL THINGS. If you really love me, then let me love you. Let my love be enough. Don't fight me any more. Let me fight FOR you. Let me fight the battle in your heart. Because you will never win without me. You will fall time after time if you continue to refuse my help.
I know it's hard. The cross was hard. Dieing is hard. Dieing to yourself is the hardest. But I did it, so that you could live. SO LIVE. LIVE LIFE ABUNDANTLY!
And don't worry, I will never stop loving you, no matter what stage in life you are in. Whether you are failing or flying. I love you. Even when you are busy ignoring me and turning your head away, I am still here...loving you. I love you even when all I can see is the back of your head, because you refuse to turn to me. I still love you. But I love you too much to let you stay where you are. Turn to me. Only I can give you what you desire most. LOVE.
Everyone will have to walk away from something or someone they really "want" in order to meet God, the One we NEED. Keeping walking.
Friends, listen to By Your Side, by Tenth Avenue North.
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1 comment:
Stephanie,
I read the title and wonder what you meant by it. Has your heart been broken, are you talking about you breaking God's heart. or perhaps your talking about both.
You said that God said, "Do not try to create love. Love is not created. It just is." If by that you are saying that God is love, that God loves us, and that there is nothing we can do to make God love us, then I agree.
If you are talking about our love, then I would say it is dangerous to say that Love just is. True love, agape love, is not something that just is or just happens. Love is not a feeling, it is not simply a yearning. Love is a commitment, something you decide to do. Love is desiring God's most blessed life for the other person, even if that means it is a life without you.
When I was in collage, oh so many years ago, I knew a young woman named Shan. She was a very shy and quite girl. She was in our Intervarsity Christian Fellowship group. I tried to talk to her a few times and didn't get a word out of her.
I prayed about it and felt that she needed someone to show her Jesus' Love. So, I chose to love her. I told her that I was making a commitment to her, that I wanted God's best for her. It wasn't a feeling.
I spend many long hours with her. Talking and waiting for her to talk. After a month or so of spending five or six hours a week with her I could get four or five words and hour with her.
As time went on she realized that I really did want God's best for her. I wasn't looking for anything from her in return. I loved her and she knew it. After six months she had learned to trust me and could talk to me.
The confidence she gained from spending time with me allowed her to talk to others. God's love for her through me changed her from a shy person to and loving person willing to take risks.
After a year of spending time with her, my heart grew fond of her. I though about asking her out on a date, but my commitment to her was to be her brother in Christ. It didn't feel right, so I never did asked her out.
I have to admit that I was sad when she started to date my best friend whom she later married. But God rewarded me when my best friend came to me and thanked me for helping to make Shan a person who could love him.
When I left collage I got a job offer far away. I want to Shan and asked her permission to leave. I told her that I had made a commitment to always loved her and be there for her. That I would not leave without her releasing me. If she needed me to say near, I would.
She hugged me and we both cried. She released me from my promise and said she would always love me and be thankful for me.
Love does not just happen, love is an act of selflessness for another. God's ultimate expression of love for us was that he allowed his son to be put to death for us. God so loved the world that he gave up his only son so we might live.
God's love is not "Just is." God's love for us is an expression, it is action in our lives. When we stop to take notice we can feel God's love as is holds us, guides us, and corrects us.
Thinking about your title again, is it that we are so bombarded with how bad heartbreak is that we become numb to the idea, that when we experience it first hand that it takes us by surprise?
I know that is how my grief was. I saw others so upset that I said to my self, "It can't be that bad." When it did it was much harder that I expected.
Doug
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