Tears were streaming down is innocent face. His skin so soft and pure just the way God intended. His screams for his daddy came in waves. I wanted to comfort him the way God comforts me when I am scared and lonely. I sat on a swing with him on my lap and swayed back in forth hoping to imitate a familiar feeling of security this beautiful baby boy may have stored up inside his memory.
I swung back and forth,
back and forth
holding him close to my heart so he could hear my steady heartbeat. I sang Amazing Grace to him in the softest voice I could muster.
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...I was once lost but now am found."
As I sang these words to little Marcus and to God at the same time, I realized that I was living in a Holy moment. One that would forever shape my faith journey. Although I had a screaming baby in my arms, I felt so incredibly peaceful.
Every time I sang Jesus' name, his cries became softer. I put my mouth close to his ear so that he could hear the love of a daughter of God singing to her Father above who seemed far away at times.
This moment.
This beautiful, beautiful
Holy moment
that God gave to me as a gift and an offering of Grace.
This moment made me want to cry and laugh at the same time.
I prayed over this little boy as he was crying. I prayed that baby Marcus would know the God who loves him so much that he allowed his OWN son to suffer and even DIE for our small existence.
This moment of desperate need for comfort taught me something about my own crying episodes with God. I cry and I cry within myself, wanting someone to come find me and hold me and sing love songs to me. I cry and I cry within myself, longing for a savior to come sweep me off my feet. But I realize that my Savior already came for me. He already comforts me with love songs. He already holds me near. My Jesus IS my comforter. I am no stronger than baby Marcus who cries for daddy because he thinks he has been abandoned.
I am held. I pray that you are too.
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